


I Promise You I’m Not Broken

by AguScribbles



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Artist Jaskier | Dandelion, College Student Jaskier | Dandelion, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, From Sex to Love, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Gratuitous Smut, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Librarian Geralt, M/M, Minor Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion, Past Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Past Jaskier | Dandelion/Valdo Marx, Past Relationship(s), Past Sexual Abuse, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:42:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29945340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AguScribbles/pseuds/AguScribbles
Summary: A modern college AU!Jaskier is an art student, who moves across the Continent to run away from his troubled past (and also his parents) and start a new life.Geralt is a librarian at the university (at least during the day) and he immediately draws Jaskier's attention, as soon as he steps through the library's door.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a chaptered fic with ACTUAL PLOT! Wish me good luck and hop with me on the Fuck-Valdo-Marx train!
> 
> I also am an idiot and clicked "Post chapter" instead of "Save as draft", so I don't have as many chapters ready as I wanted to, but I hope you will stick around to see how this story develops! I'm planning a lot of smut, some fluff and only a pinch of angst!
> 
> I will post TW's in the summaries of individual chapters, when there will be past abuse or trauma discussed!

Beauclair Academy of Fine Arts, his new home for the next three years. Jaskier sat on the big stairs leading up to the main building and sighed. He brushed a finger over his picture on his student ID and felt suddenly free. The feeling of being constantly choking and unable to breathe fully has ceased, his shoulders relaxing. This was a palpable sign of a new start, of having left everything behind. He was as far away from his parents as possible, and absolutely out of Valdo's reach. He wasn't tied to his past anymore, he could be anyone he wanted. And he wanted to be a succesful artist, a painter as great as the ones whose works he admired as a child, running through the corridors of his parents' mansion. Art was everything, the main point of his focus. No more falling in love with men 20 years his senior. No falling in love, period.

He spent another few lazy minutes, half lying on the stairs, propped up on his elbows, enjoying the warm sun of late summer, smiling at fellow students passing him by. His registration documents were in his hand and he grabbed onto them as if they were a lifevest, although reading his official name made him grimace. He made a mental note to get the paperwork ready to legally change his name, as he felt it was finally time to leave Julian behind. With a content sigh, he got up from the stairs, backpack in hand and his drafting folder draped over his shoulder and made his way to the library.

The library was a two-hundred years old building, located south of the campus, but almost as big as the main building. Beauclair really did make a point to collect all the books and papers from throughout the Continent. Jaskier pushed the massive wooden door and entered, the smell of old papers and leather book covers hitting his nose immediately. He approached the counter, rummaging in his backpack for his student ID and registration form.

"What can I do for you?" a deep male voice asked and Jaskier looked up to be met by a pair of amber, almost golden eyes, examining him. Two massive hands rested at the desk just inches from his own and Jaskier could basically feel his own pupils blow up on the spot. He gulped audibly.

_Crush me with those hands, please,_ Jaskier thought, while trying nervously to keep his composure. "I, uh... I'm a new student... I need my library card issued."

"Your name?" the man asked. 

"Jask-..." he sighed. "Julian Pankratz."

The man took his student ID, typed a few letters into his computer, looking for his name in the register. Jaskier leaned on the desk's edge and took an eyeful of the rather unusual librarian. He was a mountain of a man, his shoulders almost too wide to be real, his black button-up shirt fitting him like a glove, hugging his muscles like second skin. His thick thighs filled the chair completely. He had long silver hair, almost white, slicked back and kept in a tidy bun; a three days scruff in the same silver shade adorned the man's jawline. He had a scar going up his forehead from his left eyebrow. The hair would indicate old age, but the mysterious spark in the man's eyes made his face look bright and young, no older than thirty-five.

Jaskier wondered what his story was, how did a guy looking pretty much like a hired gun end up at the library's front desk? Was he wanted by a mafia boss and hid in the library? Did he kill one person too many and now wanted to repent for his sins by serving the most annoying social group possible, also known as wealthy white students? Jaskier immediately wanted to know _everything_ about him. And most likely experience what it feels like to be stretched thin under this heavy body of his.

The man's low voice woke him up from his daydream. "Do you have a picture for the card?"

"I... uh, shit, I don't." Jaskier stumbled over his own words. "Do I need to come back later with one, or...?" he motioned at the door.

The man let out a resigned huff, a sign Jaskier wasn't the first unprepared applicant for the day, and rose from his chair. "Follow me."

_Oh gods, he's like seven feet tall,_ Jaskier thought as he followed the man, trotting awkwardly, _I'm gonna climb that like a tree._

They entered a little utility room at the back of the library, with a neatly organised photo spot in the corner. The man motioned to Jaskier to take a seat at the chair in front of the camera and Jaskier caught a whiff of his cologne - citruses, smoke, brandy - definitely a smell fit for an assassin. He wondered if the man could smother him on the spot with his bare hands, but bit his tongue before he slipped and asked that aloud. 

The man hulked over the camera and prepared everything for Jaskier's pic to be taken, and Jaskier let his thoughts roam free for a moment. He knew he promised himself mere 30 minutes ago, that there was no falling in love on the table, he had no time nor energy for this. But he felt that a man like this, with his ridiculously wide shoulders and furrowed brows and golden eyes, could give him a fun time with no obligations, a distraction he was so desperately looking for. Jaskier wanted to be fucked senseless by him, worshipped and cared for, and then go his own way.

He wasn't ready for a relationship and didn't want one. The, let's call it, "relationship" with Valdo left him drained, empty and also in infamy for staining his family's good name. As if he was in the wrong here. Apparently being groomed into a toxic relation with your professor doesn't look good on a famous lawyer's son records.

"Alright, all done," the man's rumbling voice shook him out of his thoughts. "Come on over to the front desk, I'll print your card out."

Jaskier accepted the card, singed the receipt, but couldn't make himself to move away from the man's desk. He wanted to imprint the man's posture and smell into his memory, for future reference. The man was turned away from him, stacking some papers and putting them in binders. Jaskier shuffled awkwardly from one foot to another, till the man turned around and noticed him.

"Anything else?" he asked, raising that scarred brow.

"No, not really... I..." Jaskier mumbled, scolding himself internally for being such a dumbass. "Can I get your name, in case I needed help in the future?" he tried.

The man gave him a sympathetic smile. "If you're looking for friends, I'd recommend taking a walk through the campus."

"Yeah, sorry... I just... I think I need some time to get used to the new place. Thanks."

"If you need any book-related help, you know where to find me," the man offered, barring a set of perfectly straight teeth in a smile. Jaskier felt like his knees were gonna give up on him, he was _so_ going to imprint that face in his mind forever.

* * *

The man visited him in his sleep. One strong hand grabbed both Jaskier's wrists and pinned them to the bed right above his head. His knee parted Jaskier's thighs unceremoniously and the man launched forward, pressing Jaskier into the mattress, going in for a ferocious kiss, while also rubbing his groin against Jaskier's quickly growing erection. His breath was hot on Jaskier's lips, a strong, calloused hand roaming under his shirt, caressing the sensitive skin on his sides, pinching his nipples, drawing long moans out of Jaskier's parted lips. He was so heavy on his chest, almost pushing all the breath out of his lungs, but Jaskier loved every second of it.

"Please destroy me," he whispered, breath hitching, voice trembling with lust.

The man let out a dark laugh and pressed himself even closer to Jaskier, making him almost unable to breathe.

Jaskier woke up to himself dry humping his duvet and cursed under his breath. His cock ached to be touched and taken care of, and so he slid a hand down his sweatpants to finish himself off. The orgasm came quickly, but brought no satisfaction, causing Jaskier to groan in frustration.

He stared at the ceiling, grateful for once, his parents had no problem with paying for a single room in his dorm. In fact, his parents never had a problem with paying to get him out of their sight. First the nannies, the private tutors, then the boarding school... But this time it was different, this was an exile, so he was happy they still catered to his needs.

_Our son, seducing such a highly esteemed professor! Demanding money for his silence!_ He heard his father's coarse voice in his head. Of course they didn't believe him it was the other way around.

He shook his head, trying to stop the influx of memories, but it was too late. He remembered his freshman year at Lettenhove University, how excited and eager he was to learn _all the things_ about art. He remembered how in awe he was of professor Marx and how happy he felt when he got into his sculpting class.

_Those lean fingers do carry a lot of talent,_ Marx told him one afternoon, when all the students left and Jaskier was alone in the art room, finishing his clay sculpture of a dryad. _I wonder what other good use could we put them to..._

Jaskier shivered at the memory of Valdo's fingers walking their way up his arm, onto his neck and into his long hair. He sat up on the bed, fighting off that nauseous bile rising up in his throat. He fetched himself a bottle of water and emptied it at one go.

"Fuck you, Valdo," he whispered, gritting his teeth. 

He tucked himself into bed, focusing on remembering those kind golden eyes of the mysterious librarian. He recalled that smokey, citrus smell of his cologne and sighed deeply. Yes, he could use him as a very good distraction...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jaskier finally finds out the mysterious librarian's name.  
> Then his random hook up at a concert ends up in the most unexpected way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the work's rating to Explicit, because SEXY TIMES AHEAD!

"Hey, Jask," Anna sat next to him at the library desk, shaking her wavy maroon hair. She was wearing a flowery pantsuit and a matching scarf on her neck. Jaskier gave her a quick nod and a smile from above his notebook. "I've been looking for you since lunch. Should've known you're hiding away in the library again."

Anna Henriette was the first friend Jaskier had made on campus. They took a few courses together and she sat next to him one day on drawing practice and complimented his earrings after the class - and that was it, she decided they were gonna be friends from now on. Jaskier gladly accepted, with a hint of relief - he liked people very much, but never knew how to start a conversation with a stranger, usually stumbling over his words or saying something awkward, before his natural charm kicked in. He did find a lot in common with her, so they quickly clicked together and were spending a lot of time around each other during Jaskier's first few weeks at the Academy.

She was a few years younger than Jaskier but he didn't mind. Actually, at twenty-three, he was the oldest freshman in this academic year, but he considered it a very low price to pay for a completely new start in his life. He didn't even mind repeating those few courses he already took in Lettenhove.

"The Bard's Fantasies are playing a free show at campus tonight, wanna come?" Anna asked, leaning over Jaskier's shoulder to look into his notebook. Jaskier quickly covered it with his hands, his cheeks flushing pink.

"I've never heard of the band," he shrugged, looking away and trying to come off as uninterested.

"Okay, you better show me what you're drawing!" Anna snatched his notebook from him and gasped after inspecting the sketch.

"It's... nothing..." Jaskier focused his gaze on the desk, his cheeks, as well as ears, now turning crimson red.

The drawing was of a bulky ancient warrior, who was clearly and undeniably bearing the handsome face of the mysterious librarian. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but skin tight short leather pants, all strained muscle, one hand wielding a sword, the other grabbing onto a shield. His eyes were glowing and his lips were twisted in a grimace, his loose hair disheveled by the wind.

"Well, well, well..." Anna gave Jaskier a cheeky grin. "Now I finally know why you spend so much time in here! And I thought you were such a diligent student!" she laughed, causing shushes from people at the nearby desks.

"It's just drawing practice... I like drawing men, and needed a face for reference," Jaskier replied sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oooooor, you've got a crush on poor guy Geralt here!" Anna was beaming.

"Geralt? Is that his name?" Jaskier fought the initial embarrassment off and gave Anna an interested look with his steel blue eyes.

"Yes, I guess," she shrugged. "But, babe, listen - as big of an eye candy he is, I've heard he's the most boring and withdrawn person on the Continent, so don't bother. I mean, he works in a library of his own free will!"

"Yeah, you're probably right..." Jaskier replied absent-mindedly, his eyes already fixed on the librarian, _Geralt_ , again. He was sorting through some papers at his desk, a pen tucked playfully behind his ear, brow furrowed as he typed something into the computer now and then. Such quiet and withdrawn people usually had a secret buried deep inside, and Jaskier loved secrets. Something sparked inside him and now he wanted to not only get to know the taste of his dick but also to find out what was hidden inside Geralt's soul.

* * *

Jaskier let Anna take him to the concert, eventually. She came an hour before to his dorm and helped him get ready. Since The Bard's Fantasies were apparently a folk-rock band, her outfit was all earthy tones with green details, to match their style. Her braided hair was adorned with a leafy circlet - she was basically looking like one of the faes or dryads Jaskier used to read about in his childhood books. _The Legends of Brokilon_ were his favourite, a strong influence on his art in his early days.

Jaskier chose to wear his signature skin tight black jeans, that made his perky butt stand out even more. He let Anna dress him in a loose white button up shirt with a delicate buttercup print, and then she popped open three top buttons, revealing just a little of his chest hair.

"Seductive, but not slutty," she chirped, as she helped Jaskier underline his bright eyes with black eyeliner. Jaskier rolled his eyes in response, but hummed appreciatively after looking at himself in the mirror. Anna ruffled his long fringe. "Ahh, your hair is growing out again!"

Jaskier made a wry face. Back in Lettenhove his hair was long up to his shoulders, dark brown waves catching people's eyes and causing envy looks. Valdo was very appreciative of the hair too, demanding Jaskier to always wear it long, to "look more ethereal". _My pet, my muse must be the epitome of perfection. I won't accept anything banal and mediocre._ The first thing Jaskier did after getting out of this trainwreck called relationship, was chopping his hair off. 

Jaskier stood in front of the mirror, giving himself a onceover. He combed through his forelock with his fingers, put some pomade on the loose strands, making them fall in a perfect wave over one eye. He put his favourite dangling earrings in, adorned with aquamarine stones, a color almost identical to his eyes, known to make his gaze stand out. He gave himself a satisfied smile and a playful wink. He was _so_ gonna score tonight. Of course he wasn't as stupid as to think he could run into the librarian at a campus gig (although he did fantasize about it), but anyone good looking would be fine for his touch starved body this evening.

* * *

The gig was held in one of the campus' assembly halls. The lights were out, save for the flashing spotlights directed at the stage. The band was already at playing, causing people to crowd in front of the stage. Jaskier lost sight of Anna pretty soon after the gig started, she was probably in the first row swooning over the guitarist who was wearing a cloak-like thing over his shoulders and full make up. The centre of the stage was occupied by a petite girl in a flowing red dress, who was both singing and playing the flute.

Jaskier stood at the back, outside of the crowd, nursing a beer bottle and swaying softly to the music. His outfit and make up did cause some curious, even lusting looks, but none of the people giving Jaskier attention sparked his interest. Of course he was subconsciously looking for someone taller than him, with broad shoulders and long white hair. He sighed and scolded himself internally.

He went over to the improvised bar at the end wall and asked for another bottle of ale. As the bartender attended to him, Jaskier caught an already familiar scent of that citrus, smoke and brandy tones - _Geralt's cologne._ His heart fluttered immediately, in a mix of hope, astonishment and lust, his pupils blew with sparking arousal. Could it be that Geralt _did attend_ such gigs?

Jaskier looked around, trying not to be too obvious, his pulse already rising, but he didn't find any sight of Geralt. _Of course, you idiot._

"You lost something, buttercup?" asked a low, silky voice at his side, drawing Jaskier's attention.

"I... no, I just... I thought I saw a friend," Jaskier tried, taking an eyeful of his new companion.

"Oh, did you?" the guy inched closer. He was just an inch or two taller than Jaskier, but definitely well build, those wide shoulders already sparking Jaskier's interest. He was wearing all black, simple leather pants and a loose v-neck, barring a bit of a well-sculpted chest, as well as a silver necklace with a heavy medallion. His dark longish hair was kept in a ponytail, leaving only a few strands to fall on his face. His eyes were black in the dim lights of the bar, and there was a mark on his face near his lips, but Jaskier couldn't make out if it was a birthmark or a scar. He didn't mind, though, because when the guy scooted another inch closer, he caught a whiff of his cologne and recognized the familiar scent he was so lusting after. 

_This will do for tonight_ , Jaskier thought, being not so shy anymore with his gaze roaming along the guy's features. "I think I am in the mood for making new friends," he replied with a playful smile.

This was invitation enough for the guy, as he moved closer and put one heavy hand on the small of Jaskier's back. Jaskier whined quietly with his lips pressed together, trying not to melt into the touch on the spot. The guy's eyes wandered from Jaskier's bright eyes to his mouth, to his open shirt and he smiled rather seductively. "Wanna dance, buttercup?"

They rocked back and forth on the dancefloor, away from the crowd and people's eyes, Jaskier comfortably nestled between the guy's strong arms. The band was playing a slow, romantic song, so Jaskier gave himself permission to rest his face on the guy's chest and inhale the intoxicating scent of his cologne. "I haven't seen you around the campus before," he said while looking up into the guy's dark eyes.

"I graduated last year," he replied. "But I'm friends with the band, so decided to tag along. Glad I did, it's been long since I've seen an ass _this fine_."

He put one confident hand on Jaskier's butt and squeezed it playfully. Jaskier's knees turned into mush and he bucked involuntarily forward and into the guy's embrace, causing him to chuckle.

"Glad to see we're on the same page," his low voice enveloped Jaskier whole and he couldn't stop himself from looking up and giving the guy a pleading look. In reply, he just tipped Jaskier's chin up with his finger and kissed him, not waiting for an invitation or another word, forcing his warm tongue straight into Jaskier's mouth. The parted just for a moment to lock eyes in that silent understanding.

"Bathroom?"

" _Fuck yes._ "

As soon as the bathroom's door closed behind them, they were all over each other - hungry, sloppy kisses exchanged, hands roaming under shirts, trying to undo all the flimsy buttons and zippers in their way.

Jaskier found himself caged between the guy's body and the bathroom wall, as the man examined him with a feral smile on his lips. He slowly and deliberately turned his head away, exposing his neck for the guy to nuzzle and bite at. A pleasurable shiver down his spine made him moan with arousal, as the guy undid all the buttons in his shirt, letting it slip to the floor and bare Jaskier's lean, lithe body. 

The guy left another hot, wet kiss on Jaskier's lips and made his way down, nipping with his teeth along Jaskier's jaw, licking his long neck and moving further south. Jaskier's hips jerked forward, his strained cock still trapped in his pants demanding attention on the spot. A breathy chuckle left the guy's lips, but he didn't stop his ministrations, now giving a trying kiss and lick to one of Jaskier's hardened nipples, slowly twisting the other.

"You're gonna be the end of me," Jaskier whimpered, combing his fingers through the guy's hair and untying it. A mass of black hair framed the guy's flushed face, his dark eyes basically burning with lust, and Jaskier decided it was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his life. 

They kissed again, Jaskier grabbing the guy's ass and pulling him closer, their clothed erections brushing against each other. The guy growled into Jaskier's mouth and dropped to his knees. "I need to taste all your flavours, baby," he whispered, while undoing Jaskier's pants and Jaskier was sure he was gonna die on the spot, only from the hot breath on his cock and the touch of those massive hands on his ass.

As Jaskier felt this hot slick warmth taking his cock in, he felt dizzy and moaned louder than he wanted. His head lolled back, as the guy worked his cock with both precision and ferocity, sucking at the tip only to take him in completely a moment later. His hands never left Jaskier's ass, hugging and squeezing him in rhythm with his head bobbing.

Jaskier shut his eyes, taking in the guy's smell - his cologne mixed perfectly with the musky scent of his arousal and Jaskier couldn't help but think that this is how Geralt smells while having sex. He let his mind roam free and he imagined it was Geralt pinning him to the wall, it was Geralt's kiss-swollen mouth sucking him off and humming with pleasure, it was Geralt and his strong hands grabbing his ass and not letting him fall to the floor, though his knees were already so weak.

 _Oh yes, Geralt, yes, just like that,_ he repeated in his mind, jolts of pleasure shaking through his body, as the guy at his feet quickened his moves. He was fiercely sucking him off, now one hand at the base of his cock, the other still on his ass cheek, delicately prying at his hole. Jaskier knew he wasn't going to last much longer, his hips stuttering erratically. A low hum at his feet indicated the guy was on board with Jaskier coming, the sucking becoming more aggressive and the grip on Jaskier's butt unforgiving, pushing Jaskier over the edge.

"Oh gods, Geralt, _fuck yes!_ " a broken cry left Jaskier's lips as he came, grabbing desperately onto his lover's hair, bucking into his mouth.

The guy rose from his knees, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "Well, that's a first. Never had my brother's name screamed at me during sex before."

Jaskier felt all the color fade from his face. "Your... Brother??" he managed faintly, the creeping cold along his spine shaking him out of the post-orgasmic haze immediately.

"From another mother, but still, I live with him," the guy shrugged, giving Jaskier a sarcastic grin, taking an eyeful of Jaskier's astonished face. "So, was it _that bad_ , that you needed to fantasize about a hot librarian?"

Jaskier could feel his cheeks turn red, he was _so_ embarrassed, his gaze fixed on the wall behind the guy's head, unable to look him in the eye. The man eyed him carefully, looking more amused than annoyed. Jaskier would rather put his hand in fire than tell the guy about his unfulfilled fantasies about his _brother,_ but guessed there was nothing to hide anymore.

"I'm sorry," he sputtered. "The sex was wonderful, but you look kinda like him and I... well," Jaskier felt at loss for words.

The guy inched closer, kissed Jaskier gently on the lips, letting him taste his own spend on the guy's mouth. "No need to explain yourself, buttercup. I know damn well that basically the whole campus itches to get into the hot librarian's pants. I mean, I studied here and I also live with the guy!" he let out a chuckle.

"Still probably not the best thing to hear during a hook up," Jaskier tried, his cheeks still flushed red. "It was amazing, though, really." He moved back into the guy's embrace, kissing along his jaw and neck, trying to get his arousal high again.

The guy bumped their foreheads together with a sympathetic sigh. Jaskier knew too damn well what that meant - he fucked up again. 

"I'll gladly resume what we had here some other time, buttercup. As much as I want to slide in between those perfect buttcheeks, I'd rather not have my brother's face in my head while at it," he chuckled again and motioned towards Jaskier's pocket. "Gimme your phone, I'll leave you my number if you like."

Jaskier grabbed his phone eagerly and gave it to the guy with an enthusiastic nod. Somehow, he wasn't able to speak in the moment. The man typed his phone number in and handed it back to Jaskier, then kissed him gently one last time and left.

Jaskier looked at the bright glowing screen of his phone. His new contact read _NOT GERALT._

" _Fuck_ ," he muttered, burying his face in his hands, a groan of embarrassment leaving his mouth.


End file.
